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Mistakes People Make During Child Custody Proceedings

August 4, 2025 General

When parents decide to separate or divorce, one of the most sensitive subjects they face is child custody. The process in North Carolina can feel overwhelming, especially when families are trying to make decisions that prioritize the well-being of their children. A child custody lawyer may help you clarify what to expect throughout this process. Below, our friends at Brown Paindiris & Scott talk about the importance of parenting plans and what the court considers in custody matters. These insights can help parents prepare for what’s ahead.

How Custody Is Divided In Court

North Carolina recognizes two forms of custody: legal and physical. Legal custody gives one or both parents the ability to make decisions about the child’s health, education, and general upbringing. Physical custody, on the other hand, refers to where the child will live most of the time. Parents may share custody in some form, or one parent may be awarded primary custody with the other receiving visitation rights. Judges often prefer arrangements that give children the chance to maintain strong relationships with both parents, provided it’s in their best interest. Joint custody can work well when both parents can communicate and cooperate. However, if communication is strained or there are concerns such as neglect or instability, the court might opt for a different arrangement. Each case is decided based on its own facts.

What The Court Considers During Custody Decisions

The primary factor is always the child’s best interest. That includes looking at the child’s safety, emotional needs, the home environment of each parent, and each parent’s ability to provide consistent care. Judges also take into account the child’s relationship with each parent, school stability, and sometimes, the child’s own wishes, depending on their age and maturity. Courts avoid making decisions based on gender or outdated ideas about parental roles. Another consideration is how willing each parent is to support the child’s relationship with the other parent. In high-conflict cases, the court may also appoint a guardian ad litem to represent the child’s perspective.

Modifying Custody Arrangements Over Time

A custody order isn’t necessarily permanent. If circumstances change, either parent can request a modification. Common reasons for modifying custody include relocation, a change in the child’s needs, or concerns about the current arrangement. To modify an existing order, the parent must show that there has been a substantial change in circumstances that affects the child’s welfare. The court will then review the facts and determine if a new arrangement better serves the child. We always recommend keeping detailed records of any changes that impact the child’s daily life or well-being. This documentation can help support requests for future modifications.

Working Together For The Child’s Benefit

In many cases, parents are able to reach a custody agreement outside of court through mediation or negotiation. This often leads to more personalized and peaceful arrangements, giving parents more control over the outcome. However, when parents can’t agree, the court steps in to make a decision. While this can be stressful, understanding how the process works can help reduce confusion. At the end of the day, the goal is to help children thrive despite the family changes taking place. When parents work toward stability and open communication, children tend to adjust better. To learn more about the legal structure behind custody in North Carolina, The Spagnola Law Firm provides guidance through each step of the process.